Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
