it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Randomize
