oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
