Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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