I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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