All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
