I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
