Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
sarcasm needs its own font
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Boobs are out for the taking
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
