she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
