I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
