his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
