You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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