I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
