That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
