So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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