Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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