officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
