who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm passing your future prison.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
