I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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