okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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