I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
