FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
