yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I woke up under a house in Key West
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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