STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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