I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
