10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
