Its about making memories worth repressing
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
