Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
