we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
be right there i have to get my cape
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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