I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
barbara walters just said penis...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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