Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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