That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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