i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
