Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
