Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
