I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You took a bar mat shot.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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