At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
