How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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