I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
