Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
