But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
