He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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