she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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