Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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