so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize