I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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