you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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