we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
