Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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