Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
