brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think people are normalizing furries
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
